Send Out the Clones
by Allaine
Summary: Set three years after "Under the Milky Way Tonight", the seventh installment of the Unacceptable Sitch series finds Team Possible putting some ghosts to rest. These ghosts answer to "Acceptable". Or they used to.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Shego despised karaoke.

Shego also despised mediocrity so, there was the reason.

She liked sticking to the hobbies she was good at. She _loved _doing the things she excelled at. Singing, especially singing in public, was neither of those things, so she didn't do it.

It wasn't that she was lazy. (Well, okay, sometimes she could be lazy.) She wasn't one of those people who tried things once and quit if they weren't instantly great at it. She'd been passionate about martial arts for most of her life, and it wasn't like she'd sprung from her mother's womb with a flying kick.

Torn from her mother's womb before she died. Whatever.

There were just those things you could become really good at if you practiced long enough, no matter how much natural aptitude you had, and there were those things where you just _needed _to have the knack for it. She knew her singing ability was average at best. She wasn't terrible. She didn't sing off-key. She had an okay ear for pitch. But she had no true talent for it. Years of vocal training wouldn't change that. So she didn't bother.

If Shego despised mediocrity in herself, then she positively loathed it in others. Karaoke drew both the talentless and the merely adequate like moths to a flame. It was a comfort zone, a place where they could sing to their heart's content without judgment because everyone else was there for the same reason, and _they _didn't want to be booed off the microphone when it was their turn either.

Naturally Dr. Drakken, somewhere between "hopeless" and "below-average", had been a big fan. Naturally he'd want to meet here. It was dark and crowded, everyone would be staring at the stage, no one would be able to eavesdrop, and when they were done, he could turn in his slips of paper with the DJ.

Shego wondered what he sang nowadays. Years before, when she'd occasionally allowed him to drag her to places like this, he'd tended to lean towards bad country. "All My Exes Live In Texas", that sort of dreck.

_Why am I wondering that, _she asked herself. _Why would he even sing tonight? Five minutes, and then I'm going to tear out his vocal cords so I can garrote him with them._

She wanted to. She really, _really _wanted to. Drakken had been a constant thorn in her side ever since he mind-chipped her years ago, put a knife in her hand, and told her to kill Pumpkin. He'd been put in GJ prison after that plan failed so spectacularly, but then Dr. D had escaped with the cloned Acceptable siblings in tow three years ago.

Drakken, John, Don, and Yvonne. Who of these did NOT torture her for years? Answer: "none of the above".

Although Shego supposed she had only herself to blame for working for Drakken all that time. Dr. D had been useless in many areas, but she respected competence where it existed, and he'd been better than her and most villains at two things: dreaming big, and building big. Shego would have been content to live for years in a never-ending cycle of theft and luxury, but Drakken had ambitions, combined with a seething resentment of those who allegedly saw themselves as smarter than him. He'd had death rays and mechanical giants and volcanic lairs.

He'd also had money. So she got the cycle of theft and luxury after all, except instead of the thieving paying for the high living, the doofus paid for the thieving.

And last of all, Dr. Drakken eventually had Kim Possible. Shego may have hated mediocrity and respected competence, but she loved excellence. Kimmie was so good at shit, she practically shined.

Granted, she was a total goody-two-shoes when Shego met her, with a cocksure belief in her own superiority to Shego and an infuriating habit of backing it up. But . . .

Of course it was here that her train of thought, which had finally begun taking a more pleasant direction, was interrupted by the man taking the other seat at her table.

"Shego," Dr. Drakken said awkwardly.

She glared at him. Shego _really _glared at him. She hoped that he was getting the message loud and clear. Her being there was _not _her idea.

"Just so you know," she growled, "me being here was _not _my idea."

What the hell, he always could be pretty dense.

"I'm sure it was not," he said. He lifted a finger toward his face, perhaps to scratch something, and then apparently thought better of it. Considering he was using some kind of face paint or makeup to conceal his blue skin, that was probably a smart move. Unfortunately that was about as smart as Dr. D ever got.

Neither of them spoke for a minute. Shego just sat there, feeling her blood pressure spike. She'd told Betty pretty emphatically that this was a very bad idea, that it would be an ambush, that the entire karaoke bar would probably be filled with Synthodrones dressed as customers, while the Acceptables butchered some song choice Drakken thought was clever like Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal".

"I appreciate your concern, Shego," Betty had said, "and while I'm suggesting you should meet with him alone as he insisted, you're certainly not going to _be _alone. But I still think you should do it."

"Why?!"

"Most of Team Possible's enemies are rather predictable, I find," Betty had replied. "Dr. Drakken is definitely in that camp. After what happened the other day with Monique, however, and now this request for a meeting? Suddenly Drakken is acting very _unpredictable_, and I'd really like to know why before he does it again."

Ol' One-Eye had had a point. Shego had never really been able to anticipate the direction his sheer stupidity would take him when she'd worked for him, but he rarely ever surprised her. Not shooting Monique at point-blank range the other day with something best described as a cross between a rail gun and a salt shaker, something that would have caused catastrophic damage to every organ you could name, that had surprised everyone. (It was even more surprising than Dr. D getting the drop on her in the first place.)

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," Dr. Drakken finally said, fidgeting with packets of sugar. "I'm sure it wasn't easy convincing you."

"No, it wasn't," Shego replied. "Look, are you going to get to it? My patience had its limits even when I _didn't _want to rip your kidneys out."

Drakken swallowed. "Yes, well, that is, I mean to say – "

Shego rested one hand on the table and allowed green plasma to lightly caress the plastic surface. Thin tendrils of smoke spilled out from under her fingers. Hey, it wasn't like she was ever coming back here.

"I'd like to give myself up!" Drakken said quickly, his voice suddenly high-pitched.

The green light shining from below her palm winked out. "So?" Shego asked incredulously. "Walk into a fucking police station! You don't need me for that!"

"I might need your help to stay there though, Shego, thank you very much!" Drakken retorted. "You _know _what they're like."

She felt a sliver of ice penetrate the burning heat of her anger. "Yeah, I guess I do," she said. "Except I was their _prisoner. _Aren't they supposed to work for you?"

Drakken snorted. "Could I ever make you do something you didn't want to do when _you _worked for me?"

"You really should stick to Synthodrones, Drakken," Shego sneered. "At least they don't talk back."

"It's not the same thing, Shego!" Drakken complained. "Of course they don't talk back, they barely talk _at all. _They're not real people, they're not – you know."

Sad thing was, she did. Not only was Drakken terrible at being an employer in charge of his employees, but he'd always tried to blur the lines between them by wanting to be "friends" with her. Shego suspected he'd done the same with the Acceptables – and probably been even less successful at it. If Shego could be rather "prickly", the siblings could be rather "sociopathic".

If Shego was being honest with herself, that made what Drakken did to her later even worse.

"Of course, they're not exactly real people either," Drakken added bitterly. "Which is the problem, Shego."

"Because they're clones? Hey, you brewed 'em, you bought 'em."

"Clones. Hrm, yes, they certainly are."

Shego didn't like how that sounded, or how she felt a few hairs stand up on the back of her neck. "Drakken, you didn't do something unusually . . . moronic, did you?"

"No, of course not. It may have been slightly reckless, perhaps, but it was several months ago, and obviously there were no long-term study results to consider."

She _really _didn't like how that sounded. "Please tell me you didn't start cloning them in bulk."

"Certainly not," Drakken said haughtily. "I'm a trained scientist, Shego. More importantly, I have a very developed sense of self-preservation."

He could have fooled her.

"Look, Dr. D, are we going somewhere with this or is this just some twisted trip down Memory Lane?" she asked, exasperated.

Drakken didn't answer at first, glancing sidelong at the person who was currently mumbling their way through a Hooters song.

"Oh my God! This IS some twisted trip down Memory Lane!"

"Shego, please! That is NOT what this is. It's rather serious, actually."

"I'm not sure if I should be relieved or nervous," she retorted.

Shego suddenly realized the two had managed to slip right back into the same banter they'd always used when she worked for him. What was _wrong _with her?

"Have you noticed," Drakken said slowly, "if the Acceptables have become rather more . . . aggressive lately?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I guess so, yeah," she said.

Whether or not you believed Drakken when he said he had a "well-developed sense of self-preservation", lately the Acceptable siblings appeared to have an increasingly _less _developed sense. Betty had observed a few months ago that this was a development she'd feared. If you could always make another clone of yourself, you could just recklessly throw caution to the wind and fight without any regard for your own safety. Her biggest concern was that one of them might intentionally try to get himself or herself killed, just to take one or more Team Possible members with them.

Obviously that hadn't happened yet, but each of the Acceptables had died at least once in the last six months, usually taking some risk that had put Kimmie in double danger. Not only did it threaten HER life, but inevitably Kim would then endanger HERSELF when she tried to save them.

"Well," Drakken explained, "every time the cloning process takes place, a very small amount of the original DNA is destroyed."

"Yeah, so?"

"Unfortunately, I never had any of the Acceptables' original DNA to begin with. Two years ago, when our paths crossed with you, Ms. Possible, the buffoon and – ironically – DNAmy, you may recall that John had a rather gruesome encounter with her. To recreate him, I had rather few options."

Since the original clones had been created from DNA Senor Senior Junior had retrieved from the cavern they'd taken their fatal falls into, long after GJ had removed their bodies, Shego couldn't exactly blame him for that.

She really wanted toblame him for making her think of SSJ, though.

Instead, when she flicked him in his forehead, she said, "That's for saying her name."

"Ow! Shego! It's not like I had anything to do with her current state!"

"Yeah, but I still don't like thinking about her, and you had to bring her up."

Years before, DNAmy had embarked on a very quick weight-loss program by splicing her genetic material with that of a hummingbird, vastly accelerating her metabolism. She hadn't been very happy later when she discovered Shego had spliced the avian DNA right back OUT of her while DNAmy was unconscious, and the lunatic had put it back IN at the first opportunity.

If Shego ever got her hands on whomever had given DNAmy the idea that just because Cuddle Buddies were two animals mixed together, that didn't mean _she _couldn't avail herself of only one genetic improvement . . .

"What is she up to these days, anyway?" he asked curiously, covering his forehead with one hand.

Shego shrugged. "Eleven different strains of animal DNA, last I heard," she said. No one was counting any more. DNAmy had become a hybridized genetic abomination, completely unrecognizable as any species normally found on Earth. Unfortunately she'd retained her malignant genius-level IQ, which meant she was probably up to at least twelve by now.

Then she kicked him in both shins.

Drakken tried to say her name again, but it came out more like a whimper.

"Look, _Dr. D, _I'm tired of pretending to have an actual conversation with you!" Shego snarled. "So you didn't have the original DNA. What happened then?"

"I – I had to use DNA cloned from the original instead! I had to do it for all three of them!"

"Okay, and what does that mean?!"

Drakken shrank back. "Well, it appears that, actually it's rather interesting if you see the Acceptables as a long-term study – "

She growled menacingly at him and raised both gloved hands.

"Apparently clone DNA begins to degrade over long periods of time!"

"Degrade? What, like disintegrate or something?"

"No, um . . . Dementor spread a rumor years ago that he had some kind of new ray gun that he had used to briefly turn Ms. Possible into some sort of cave person?" Drakken suggested.

Shego dropped her hands, then dropped her head into her arms. "Yeah," she said, remembering that very well.

"Yes, well, they're starting to become a bit more like that. Lately it's been manifesting itself mostly with – extreme violence."

She groaned. "Pumpkin, are you getting this?" she mumbled.

Sitting at one end of the bar, with a perfect view of Shego and Dr. Drakken, a disguised Kim Possible sighed. "Ook ook," she said into her Kimmunicator. "I wish I wasn't."

To be continued . . .

Author's Note - I'm trying to get back into a writer's "frame of mind" here. This won't be a huge story like what I used to write, and I doubt there will be a sequel. I hope a few people enjoy though.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"So let me get this straight," Shego said. Kim could hear her voice clearly through her earpiece, thanks to the transmitter planted in the little box of sugar packets on Shego's table, as she gradually moved towards their location. "You used DNA from the Acceptable clones to make new ones, because you didn't have any of the DNA from their actual bodies. And over time, they've been, what, regressing because of that DNA?"

"Not . . . exactly."

It was when Drakken grew vague that he became truly scary.

"Care to _be _exact then?" Shego asked.

"Yes, they've been regressing, but no, it's not because of that DNA. It's because of some . . . other DNA."

"I swear to God, Drakken," Shego snarled, "if the next words out of your mouth are _I've been splicing their DNA with Kim Possible's, _I will club you to death with your own leg!"

"I wasn't going to say that!"

"I don't like that gleam in your eyes, Dr. D. Don't make me pluck them out."

"Right, yes, erm, well, as I was saying," he stammered, "it's not because of THAT DNA because THAT DNA no longer exists. You see, when I first began working with the Acceptables, they'd all been cloned once from their original DNA. But I cloned them the second time using DNA from their cloned bodies. And when I cloned them the third time, I used DNA from THOSE cloned bodies."

"Bu-bu-buh, slow down there," Shego said. Kim was moving slowly herself; the karaoke bar had become densely packed, everyone seemed to be leafing through three-ring binders, and she didn't want to create a commotion. "Through that unusually confusing bit of lunacy you just spouted, I think I caught something along the lines of the Acceptables being clones of clones of clones?"

"Essentially, yes, Shego."

There was nothing for a moment, and then Kim heard a _whap! _followed by an "Ow!" from Drakken.

"Oh, quit whining. Be glad I didn't hit you with anything worse than a menu," Shego snapped. "And what the hell is the matter with you?! Anybody knows you don't fax something that's already been faxed!"

"I am perfectly aware – "

"Then why didn't you just take extra DNA from them when they first started working for you? You had to know this was going to happen!"

"That wasn't an option, Shego! Tell me, in your years of imprisonment, did any of the Acceptables ever strike you as a bit paranoid?"

"All three struck me, period," Shego muttered. "But to answer your question, yes, of course, they were all incredibly paranoid. Their father liked to electrocute them when they did something wrong, their mother liked to TELL their father when they did something wrong, and THEY were all exceptionally good at throwing each other under the bus if they thought it would save their sorry hides from another shocking. So yeah, paranoia ran rampant back then."

"Well, Shego, that sounds exactly like the three people I met in GJ custody all those years ago," Drakken replied. "Their parents might have been gone, but old habits die hard, I suppose. They were, let's say, 'highly attuned' to any perceived attempt by a sibling to control or manipulate each other. So when I suggested that they each give me a batch of their DNA in case I needed to make more clones in the future, what do you think they said?"

"They said no," Shego said. Grudgingly, by the sound of it. "They wouldn't have trusted you with it. Figured you'd just make more of them when you felt like it, in case any of them got out of line?"

"There was that," Drakken agreed. "However, I think they were more concerned about _each other _getting hold of their DNA. For what reason, I can't say, but there doesn't _need _to be a reason because – "

"Because they were all intensely, irrationally paranoid," Shego finished for him. "If that's the case, how did you clone John when DNAmy killed him? Did you steal some beforehand?"

"Yes, _there _was a good way to get myself put in a body cast," Drakken retorted. "No, they had a rather simple system. They cloned themselves before every mission. If any of them was killed, or was taken into custody and couldn't free themselves and make it back to where the clones were kept in seventy-two hours, then the clone became active and, for all practical intents and purposes, the new Acceptable."

That didn't make any sense to Kim. The Acceptables, individually or as a group, had been taken into custody multiple times. If that were the case, there'd be a dozen of them in prison alone.

"What do you mean by, for all intents and purposes?" Shego asked.

"Well, there was still the matter of the Acceptable in custody," Drakken replied. "They were all firmly opposed to the notion of co-existing with their copies. After the seventy-two hours was up, that Acceptable was expected to dispose of himself or herself."

Kim froze. _Wait, what?_

"You mean kill themselves," Shego said flatly.

"Yes, Shego. As you no doubt remember, my first clones had an unfortunate vulnerability to carbonated beverages. When the Acceptables and I first escaped GJ custody, I learned that this weakness had been overcome. They permitted me to conduct supervised tests of their tissue – which was immediately destroyed afterwards, of course. I learned that they were in fact still vulnerable to carbonation, but only from _within_. You could drop one of them into a vat of Pepsi and they'd be perfectly fine, unless they accidentally ingested some. In that case, well, I wouldn't want to drink any of that Pepsi."

Shego didn't respond right away. "Let me guess," she finally said. "They had some kind of small vial inside their bodies, kind of like a cyanide pill in a hollow tooth. Except theirs contained a carbonated liquid."

"Precisely. It took very little to start the chain reaction that dissolved their bodies, and once the seventy-two hours were up, all the clone had to do was wait until no one was watching. Once that happened, only one of each Acceptable remained. And best of all, without a body, everyone would simply assume – "

"That they'd escaped. Son of a BITCH!"

Kim winced. The seeming inability of every prison and law enforcement agency to keep the Acceptables imprisoned for more than a couple days had bothered everyone greatly, but Shego most of all. She'd been furious when she realized they were escaping from prison faster and better than SHE ever had, and without plasma powers, and she'd become even angrier every time it happened again. And all this time they hadn't been escaping prison. They'd been escaping existence.

"Of course," Drakken continued, "you must realize what this means. You said earlier that the Acceptables were 'clones of clones of clones'."

"Yeah, I know," Shego growled angrily. "If that's what they've been doing all this time, then by now they're clones of clones of clones of clones of clones times infinity. And every time that happened, their DNA got a little bit – funkier."

"Are you getting all this?" Kim said into her wrist while Drakken went into more scientific gobbledy-gook.

_I rather wish I wasn't_, Betty Director responded. _If this is true, I'm surprised they didn't start regressing sooner. Any idiot – except Doctor Drakken, evidently – could have seen this coming._

"I'm trying to get closer without being spotted," Kim told her. "But there's a lot of people in here and it's dark. What the hell? Not even the Planetarium has ever been this packed."

_Don't make any sudden moves, Kim. Somehow I doubt Drakken has been patted down._

"So that's why you called this little meeting," Shego said in Kim's other ear. "They're turning into Morlocks or something, and you've been scared shitless."

"Shego, I . . . all right, yes, they're quite terrifying now."

"What about Oryx?" Shego asked. "I'm guessing you didn't shoot her out of some messed-up goodwill gesture."

"Well, I certainly didn't do it because I was afraid I might _miss_. Did you find the gun afterwards?"

"Yeah, the nerds were actually a little impressed. Said it was something like a high-tech shotgun combined with a black pepper mill."

"Hm, yes, the analogy is apt. The principle is similar to an ordinary shotgun loaded with buckshot, except the pellets are much smaller, much more numerous, and travel MUCH faster. Someone on the receiving end of that gun would look like an old pincushion with all the pins removed. You could have doubled the distance between us and the girl would still have been dead in minutes. I hoped Team Possible realized that it could have ended very differently for your Oryx."

"It could have ended very differently for you too," Shego retorted. "I would have stuck that gun up your ass before pulling the trigger."

"Erm, yes, I don't doubt you would have, Shego." No one spoke briefly. "Where's that waitress?" he then asked. "Frankly I'm parched."

"Again, focus, Drakken," Shego warned him.

"I'm trying to be. I'm just rather thirsty. For some reason my mouth becomes dry every time you say something to me."

Realizing she wasn't going to make much headway in these crowds, not without attracting Drakken's attention, Kim changed direction and began making her way to the bar.

"Anyway, Shego, there WAS another reason why I arranged this meeting."

"You found someone to sing 'Islands in the Stream' with you?"

"It's very hard finding a woman who can do that song justice, Shego. And no, it had nothing to do with karaoke. I wanted to . . . apologize."

Shego chuckled bitterly. "I hope you wrote it down, because you've got a lot to be sorry for."

"I suppose. But I thought I'd stick to an apology for what I did to you after you and Kim Possible dealt with the Acceptables."

"It's a little late to say you're sorry for having me chipped so you could order me to kill Kimmie, Drakken!"

"Please and thank you," Kim said quietly as she ordered three sodas from the bartender.

"You have to understand, Shego, I didn't fully grasp what had happened to you! I thought you were just, you know, in a secret prison somewhere. I mean, who among us hasn't spent more than a few weeks in prison? I never knew what they . . . did to you."

"Don't tell me, the Acceptables have been telling you stories," Shego said gloomily.

"Shego, if I had realized that John had sexually assaulted you – "

Time seemed to slow to a crawl for Kim. Suddenly it seemed like the singer was (weakly) holding that note for a really long time. If the bartender had already served her drinks by now, the glasses probably would have shattered in her hands. _Shego, you never – you didn't – why didn't you –_

Dimly she became aware of Shego spluttering in her ear in what sounded like outrage. "If John hadn't _WHAT?! _Are you out of your fucking mind? He sure as hell did NOT do that to me!"

The sense of relief that followed that statement, it almost felt like it would bring Kim to her knees.

"Shego, he bragged about it constantly, and – "

"That's because he was a shitty little limp dick who couldn't even get it up when he was torturing me! What was he going to say? 'I remember the time I showed Shego my tiny man-thing, and the twenty times after that, and that was basically it every single time'?"

"Oh . . . "

"What? Don't tell me those other two psychos said something like that?"

"Don never spoke of such things. Yvonne, well, she liked to reminisce about S – "

"I swear to fucking God, Drakken," Shego interrupted quickly. "Remember what I did to you when you brought up DNAmy a few minutes ago? Well, multiple that by a thousand, and that's what I'll do to you if you even say his name."

_Thanks, Shego,_ Kim thought as she paid for the drinks and began carrying them to her table. _But you think I don't think about SS Junior every day?_

"_It wasn't enough for you to steal my father, Kim Possible. You had to lose him too? Since you obviously care so little for a life lost . . . "_

"Fine, Shego. But three years of being partners with those people has been hard enough. Being their prisoner for five . . . well, I felt like I understood why you did what you did, and I wish I'd done things differently."

" . . . I still hate you, Drakken. But I'll think about maybe accepting your apology some day."

"Um, thank you?"

"You're welcome," Kim said sweetly as she placed a diet soda in front of him. Why had she been trying to get to Shego and Drakken from behind? The crowds were much thinner in front. Maybe because - she groaned to herself. She'd been trying to fight her way through the line to the DJ.

Drakken gaped at her. "Kim Possible!" he said out loud, while Shego imitated him mockingly.

"Here you go, honey," Kim said, ignoring him as she offered Shego a drink.

"About time," Shego groused. "Can you believe some of the shit that's been coming out of his mouth?"

"B-b-but, I said to come alone!" Drakken whined.

"And you actually thought she would?" Kim asked incredulously.

He looked down at his soda. "I preferred to," he mumbled.

"Look, Drakken, you're coming with us tonight, and we'll keep you safe from the Acceptables – IF you tell us where all your cloning facilities are," Kim said.

"There's just the one," Drakken said. "Did you not hear me say 'paranoid' ten times? Those three wanted to be able to witness every part of the cloning process. I certainly wasn't going to build a second cloning lab, just so they could draw and quarter me when they found out about it."

"Dr. D, if they're so paranoid, then how the hell did YOU get away from them for the night?" Shego asked.

Drakken slid a folded piece of paper toward Kim. "Those are the co-ordinates," he said somberly. "You'll find them there. And as for how I got away from them . . . "

"I didn't."

Then Drakken took a sip from his soda.

The singers had been terribly loud, and loudly terrible all night, but Drakken's screams cut through their vocals easily. Shego and Kim both stumbled backward out of their chairs as Drakken began convulsing violently.

"Drakken!" Shego gasped.

"No," Kim realized as he began to melt while people around them started screaming and running for the fire exits. "Not really. He was a clone, Shego, just like he described to you. That was the only way he could get away from them – send a copy in his place."

Shego looked down at the body, which was rapidly turning into nothing more than a large, frothy puddle, and said nothing.

"You might not want to hear this," Kim added, "but this isn't just about shutting the Acceptables down now. This is – "

"Don't say it."

"A rescue."

"I goddamn told you – " Shego sighed. "I have to rescue Drakken. Again. What the hell is this, Groundhog Day?"

Kim thought they were looking for a different type of rodent. Three of them, to be precise.

To be continued . . .


End file.
